Maintenance checkBy Wade Kwon
I would like to think Iâ€™m low maintenance. Thatâ€™s not usually the case.
I would like to think my bouts of high maintenance are worth the trouble.
The ground rules in my head make perfect sense to me.
I donâ€™t like to be a burden. I like to be a good guest. Or a good boyfriend. Or a good friend.
That makes me a little dull. But Iâ€™m not one for drama.
Iâ€™m amazed by people who thrive on drama, who must be the center of attention at all costs. I like the spotlight, too, but not if I have to be a dick.
And, I can be a dick.
Drama queens, keep your distance. Youâ€™ll get no attention from me. If you need a lot of fuss, Iâ€™m not your man.
Iâ€™m certainly not easy to please. Iâ€™m a perfectionist, which can alienate friends and colleagues. It can be tough to deal with me if you always think Iâ€™m riding you for nitpicky stuff.
Being tough on myself isnâ€™t an excuse. No one gets a free pass for giving others unwarranted flak. I have high standards in career, in friendship, in personal goals, in everything.
So I let myself down. A lot.
If other people let me down, well, it happens. I try to give the benefit of the doubt, but I fail at that, too. Not always, just some of the time.
Iâ€™m judging you. Iâ€™m judging me. Neither of us are faring too well.
(Look, drama! I have become what I abhor.)
I fumble around a bit. For answers, for purpose, for meaning, for help, for mercy, for understanding.
If you think Iâ€™m high maintenance, remember this: Iâ€™ve had to live with myself a lot longer than you have.