Conversational shortcuts and moms
By Wade Kwon“Hello, dear.â€
“Hi.â€
“It’s your mother.â€
“Yes, I know, Mom.â€
“Are you coming over soon?â€
“Not until Saturday.â€
“Not today?â€
“Not until Saturday.â€
“OK, if you say so.â€
“(sigh)â€
“What was that, dear?â€
“Nothing.â€
“You sound tired.â€
“I’m fine, Mom.â€
“Have you been getting enough sleep?â€
“Yes, but the cats sometimes keep me up.â€
“It’s not that boy …â€
“I told you, we broke up weeks ago.â€
“You told me you weren’t that serious.â€
“We weren’t, which is why we broke up.â€
“And now you can’t sleep.â€
“I sleep fine, Mom.â€
“I just don’t want you falling asleep on the drive over here.â€
“It’s a 10-minute trip.â€
“Don’t snap at me, young lady. See how you get cranky when you don’t get enough sleep.â€
“(mumbles something)â€
“I didn’t get that, dear.â€
“I said, I’m sorry.â€
“That’s OK. How’s work?â€
“I don’t want to talk about it.â€
“Are you sure? I thought things would be better this month.â€
“I really don’t want to talk about it.â€
“Why?â€
“Because it’s frustrating and there are people around and I can’t get into the details.â€
“Promise me you’re going to talk with the HR lady.â€
“She won’t do anything.â€
“Not if you don’t speak with her. Do it for me.â€
“But it’ll cause more problems. You have to trust me.â€
“I do trust you. But maybe if I talked with her …â€
“MOM!â€
“OK, OK, I don’t want to upset you.â€
“You’re not upsetting me, Mom. But don’t talk to the HR woman or anyone else at my office.â€
“Ever?â€
“You know what I mean.â€
“I don’t want to be in the way.â€
“Mom, you’re not in the way.â€
“They work you too hard, dear.â€
“Yes, Mom.â€
“Maybe if you were a little nicer to your boss …â€
“Please please let’s not get into this …â€
“All I’m suggesting is that you smile more and say good morning.â€
“It’s more complicated than that.â€
“Yes, but you have such a lovely smile.â€
“(pause)â€
“Except for that one little chip in your tooth.â€
“Mom-m-m-m …â€
“Oh, it’s hardly noticeable. I wish you would get it fixed.â€
“I have to go now.â€
“OK, dear. I’ll see you on Saturday.â€
“Yes, Mom.â€
“I love you.â€
“I love you, too, Mom.â€
“That’s always nice to hear, dear.â€
“Goodbye, Mom.â€
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- Conversational shortcuts and moms
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- 06.28.06 | 11.50 pm
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