Genteel touchBy Wade Kwon
Ginny has declared war on the too-cute ladies who clog the aisles and lines in supermarkets and frozen yogurt (they still sell that?) places.
Itâ€™s the New South versus the Old South.
The long white gloves are off. And itâ€™s so on.
Ginny has silent fits around these women. They are typically white, in their 50s and older and have helium-affected voices with look-at-me tendencies.
If only I could pull off a decent impersonation â€¦
They are the old guard, but what that really means is they are new money. The boomers who made their hay in the 1980s and strut and preen like they own the place.
Ginny is facing lean times, as she has done before. She used to put up with a lot of nonsense, but sheâ€™s outgrown most (but not all) infantile behavior from others.
At the Publix, we encounter one in the dairy aisle. The sugar mama says all drawly, â€œI just cannot find this one energy bar. Do you know where they keep them?â€ (bats eyelashes)
Iâ€™m almost certain if Ginny were licensed to carry a concealed weapon, we wouldâ€™ve had a major cleanup on aisle 14.
Instead, Ginny grimaces and drags me away, leaving the question unanswered. The lady ropes in a hapless employee, and we head for the checkout.
That, by the way, was a minor skirmish.
At the yogurt place (I wasnâ€™t there), another delicate flower of the Old South is holding up the line because she canâ€™t decide which flavor to have for her tiny, tiny cup. Ginny probably wouldâ€™ve slapped her into the second coming if not for her overriding need for sweet sustenance.
(For the record, Ginny doesnâ€™t even like the quirky uber-Southern accent of Kyra Sedgwickâ€™s character, Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson of Atlanta, on â€œThe Closer.â€)
Itâ€™s amusing to watch genteel ways mutated into this bitchy battle. Forget GLOW, the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling; gimme GRITS, Girls Riled and Instigating Total Savagery.
The Old South will rise again â€” when you pull Ginnyâ€™s cold dead finger from the trigger.