Meow mixBy Wade Kwon
This weekend was traumatic. I had to face down my mortal enemy not once, not twice, but thrice.
I was on catsitting duty.
Steve and Andie needed someone to feed their cats while they were out of town. Naturally, I volunteered, having done so before.
I am stupid that way.
I did not take the evil shortcut of petsitting, namely, show up on the last day and feed them double rations. What, like the cats are going to snitch?
I am not averse to catsitting, but it is usually obligatory when itâ€™s a girlfriend or otherwise comely lass. Though whenever I did catsitting duty for two previous girlfriends (including litter box cleanup), they dumped me upon return from vacation. And no, itâ€™s not because their cats died on my watch.
At least, not permanently. By the way, lamp cords make great emergency pet defibrillators.
So, itâ€™s not like emotional trauma isnâ€™t part of the mix. It always is.
Anyway, Steve and Andieâ€™s cats were relatively easy last time. Show up, add food, add water if low, leave. If I couldâ€™ve rigged a long chute from the curb to the window, I might have even slowed the car down long enough to put enough cat food in the tube.
Alas, this time would be more challenging. One of the cats required medicine.
I made sure Andie gave me detailed instructions, including a description and/or photo of the cat that needed dosing. Because all cats look alike to me â€” pure evil.
Cat No. 1, which I shall call Cat, receives a forkful of canned food on a plate. The can is in the refrigerator, along with the medicine bottle. Exactly 0.5cc of medicine (still donâ€™t know what it was for) is measured with a thin plastic syringe, poured onto the food and mashed in with a fork. Then, Cat is lured into the bathroom to eat in privacy, and the door is shut for at least 10 minutes.
Cat No. 2, which I shall call Cat, receives a cup of dry food from the top (not bottom) sealed plastic tub, less if the bowl has leftover food. Cat is not allowed to eat the medicated food, just the plain dry food, hence the closed door.
The electric water bowl receives a refill if itâ€™s gurgling.
Such was my routine for three days. No dish and dash for me this time. Nope, not while I had to cater to Cat and Cat. Unfortunately, Cat wouldnâ€™t eat all the food in 10 minutes, despite my busy schedule. As much as I would try to tempt him or her with the food left on the plate, he or she wouldnâ€™t bite.
It is done, and the cats still have all of their paws and tails. No thanks or payment needed. Just knowing I helped blah blah frickinâ€™ blah.
And if anything valuable is missing, the cats took it.