Say it again: July 2006

A review of my favorite posts from July …

(Plus highlights of my other blog, Wade on Birmingham.)

Manhattan 2005, part 5 | summer in NYC, what could be better?

I take a table outside, as has most everyone. It is a beautiful summer evening, cool, romantic, lovely. I finally drop the tie, remove the jacket, and jot off some postcards. The server is a bit behind, but oh well, my drink is here and it is soothing.

I am surrounded by tall buildings and late-night diners and the cool air. It is perfect.

All is possible.

The day after yesterday | why global warming matters

The United States is a leading contributor to this premeditated planetary murder-suicide. And at some point within our lifetimes, it will be irreversible. Unless we act.

Ones and zeroes | I read manuals and speak the language of machines

I’m the lucky fellow in the office that winds up showing people how to unfreeze a program, or changing the toner cartridge (a messy, unpleasant task) in the copier or laser printer, or walking through the steps of putting a name ID on voicemail

Fight the power | Santa Barbara’s daily newspaper, bleed all about it

I couldn’t work for someone who would let his personal feelings upend the operation. Certainly, if he could fire her on a whim, I could be dismissed at any point, too.

Who wants to work in that environment?

To the bitter end | he who dies with the least friends, wins

Many of my friends will die before their time. I’ve come to accept this morbid fact over the years. It is likely I’ll outlive most of them and pass away alone.

The good news is I’ll have all their stuff to keep me company.

Match Game ’03 | blind dates suck, online blind dates triple suck

I can’t say if the personality test is completely accurate. The evaluation is mostly positive, and the site supposedly tosses a small percentage of losers deemed unfit for commitment. (The site also discriminates against gays and lesbians. You know, before it was fashionable.)

Pressing concern | how I became an iron giant

Starting out, I ironed in a most haphazard fashion with an ancient hand-me-down iron, one with a gritty soleplate. I cringe at how those early dress shirts fared under my clumsy care.

As I practiced the Martha technique, I set aside hours to press each panel, each side with a loving touch. I had a plastic spray bottle to prep each shirt before placing it on the board.

Blood oath | giving blood is as easy as jamming a needle into your arm for 15 minutes

The nail-biter is the first blood test. I always look away right before they stick my finger. I’m usually borderline on the iron over-under, like today. The nurse on duty had to put it through the spinner, and I though for sure I’d be bounced.

Genteel touch | when society ladies attack!

At the Publix, we encounter one in the dairy aisle. The sugar mama says all drawly, “I just cannot find this one energy bar. Do you know where they keep them?” (bats eyelashes)

I’m almost certain if Ginny were licensed to carry a concealed weapon, we would’ve had a major cleanup on aisle 14.

Odds are | I’m a sure bet. Sucker.

That I’ll bet on your miserable life: 2:1.

That I’ll surf the Web while talking to you on the phone: 10:1.

That I’ll defer to your pick for restaurant: 4:3.

That I’ll defer to your pick for movie: 11:1.

Remote possibilities: fall 2006 | every new show deserves snap judgment

“Smith”: Family dad blends in, commits crimes, not accused of crimes.

“Runaway”: Family dad blends in, doesn’t commit crimes, accused of crimes.

Meow mix | must. feed. cats.

Steve and Andie needed someone to feed their cats while they were out of town. Naturally, I volunteered, having done so before.

I am stupid that way.