The end of Internet 1.0


Dear user,

Thank you for your interest in starting a weblog. At this time, we regret that we can no longer provide space for new weblogs, or “blogs,” given that the Internet has reached maximum capacity.

We apologize for any inconvenience.


Although the blogosphere has grown at a tremendous rate, we have been unable to keep up with demand. Who knew pet and baby stories and/or photos would cause server crashes and power outages, or that their geometrically expanding popularity would overwhelm 21st-century technology?

We appreciate those users who have pioneered this form of communication and networking, making the next announcement even more difficult.

In order to maintain crucial national defense systems on ARPANET during elevated threat levels, we shall begin shutting down existing blogs next week. Those blogs that have not been updated in the past 12 months will be deleted first, continuing through blogs updated more frequently.

To save your data, simple download your entries to your personal computer (PC) or print out your posts. You could also photograph your computer monitor, repeating for each screen’s worth of information.

Alternate solutions were explored, but the most expedient solution was to make room on servers by clearing out users’ vacation photos, breakup poetry, status as to which member of the A-Team he/she resembles most, “shoutouts” and diatribes on political beliefs.

However, limited capacity is still available for adult industry photos and videos.

We suggest that users interested in “blogging” record their writings in notebooks, keep their photos in albums and show their videos on videotapes and/or DVDs. Those wishing to share content can do so by driving in high-traffic areas and displaying their work in the driver side or passenger side windows. This should also work on various forms of mass transit, including buses, trains, taxis and streetcars.

Again, we apologize for the unforeseen glitch. We invite you to reapply for a blog when we launch Internet 3.0, scheduled for release in mid-2011.

Thank you.


The Internet


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