The age of meBy Wade Kwon
In some ways, I am old man. In other ways, Iâ€™m a spring chicken.
Old: I go to bed (or try to) at a reasonable hour.
Young: I operate on less sleep than is reasonable.
Old: I have a mature perspective.
Young: I make inappropriate comments on long elevator rides.
Old: I watch PBS news programs about Hamas.
Young: I watch â€œTom Goes to the Mayor,â€ the most annoying cartoon ever made. And I love it.
Old: Love Frank Sinatra.
Young: Love Avril Lavigne.
Old: Invested in retirement plans.
Young: Invested in one-third of the hard-bound â€œCalvin and Hobbesâ€ master collection and a â€œMy So-Called Lifeâ€ lunchbox.
Old: I forget.
Young: Plenty of time for new memories â€¦ to forget.
Old: Iâ€™m cheap.
Young: I use only credit cards, because cash is quaint.
Old: I make old man noises.
Young: I make â€œmockâ€ old man noises.
Old: Iâ€™m too old to be on MySpace.
Young: Iâ€™m on MySpace.
Old: We are not amused by your immaturity.
Young: We are not amused by your entrenched world view.
Old: Iâ€™ll never fall in love.
Young: I fall in love each day.
Old: Semblances of wisdom spring forth from time to time.
Young: I ask a lot of dumb questions.
Old: I eat salads and vitamins and small portions.
Young: I eat cereal for dinner.
Old: A few regrets.
Young: Time for change.