Come on down

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Bob Barker taped his last episode of “The Price Is Right” Wednesday. After 35 years of hosting this show and 50 years on television, he’s done.

The episode airs June 15, but the nostalgia lasts forever.

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The Los Angeles Times shared a few insights in a column on contestant idiocy. For example, bidding $890 when the preceding player just said $900. C’mon!

Or, in the Showcase Showdown, earning 50 cents on the first spin and not taking the second spin!!

After many sick days and hooky days and weird moments when 10 a.m. would roll around on a weekday, I have my own share of “Price Is Right” head-scratchers.

Why would you ever take the first Showcase? Those prizes suck. Let’s say the first package is a donkey in a wheelbarrow. That means the second Showcase will be two donkeys in a gigantic gold-plated wheelbarrow, along with the inside scoop on who killed Kennedy.

And when you’re onstage, man up and screw the audience. Don’t turn to those mouth-breathers for “advice” — hell, you just beat out all of them in a simple pricing game already.

Besides, listening to them is impossible. All you hear is a random clatter of numbers and “higher!” or “lower!” or “I’m suing you, Bob!” If you’ve gone to the trouble to have a plant in the audience, she’ll be using hand signals anyway.

Matching T-shirts? Tacky. This ain’t “Let’s Make a Deal.”

Molesting Bob? Not cool. You’re there to spit out prices and win fabulous prizes, not grope a kindly old man.

The strategies and the contestants will always be the same, but not the show, not without Bob. Cue the losing horns.

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The complete engrossing compendium of pricing games

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